Mavis Writes: It has been a hot minute, but we are officially back. The guest writers segment went into hibernation, because I simply couldn't keep up. However, forgive me as we are officially back into formation. Our next guest writer is Maija, who I met through someone special to both of us. She is an incredible writer and an even better person. Let's get to know her, shall we?
1.What is the one thing you wish people knew about you?
Most people think I’m a hard rock but I cry, a lot actually. I guess it’s because Titanic doesn’t make me cry but “Tears Under the Sun” does.
2. What motto do you live by?
“God is in control”. Sometimes life is lot, I've stopped asking questions. I am happier!
3. Who inspires you and why?
My grandma. She is the most selfless person I’ve ever seen.
4. What is the hardest lesson life has taught you?
At some point, I felt life shout at me: “You are not equipped to fix yourself. That’s why you are so exhausted”.
I stopped trying to fit God in my “Fixing me” schedule and let Him do His work.
5. What was your happiest moment?
When I first fit in my graduation gown. I can never forget!!
The 8th would have been my 11th month anniversary with my, "Paris will seal it and death will do us part" boothang.
It would have been one month to our 1 year anniversary, a day filled with memories of what seemed like the best decisions of my life.
Or so I thought.
Like every other break up, I was screaming and breaking glasses (in my head), and obviously, all up in my friends inboxes, with details of things unsaid from August 2017 to what was like said yesterday.
Details of everything he was and wasn't.
As if he was alone in it, and things were just happening to me. As if blinded, deaf and paralysed, I narrated the relationship like I couldn’t do anything about everything happening to me. But I was there.
The whole time.
To be honest, the elephant in the room was also me.
And this is what I got to understand about myself...
Words could easily break me down because I didn't know better. I was greatly exposed becoming vulnerable with someone, without knowing the truth about what God says about me.
I wasn't safe, because any "harsh" word wouldn't fall on concrete truth; It rather fell on the expectation of the truth that I thought he would give me.
But now, he didn't.
So I'm broken and resentful.
The most appropriate question to ask in that moment was "How could you, Be like everyone else and say exactly what they've been saying? How could you do it, if you even told your mom about me?? How?
When we were soo deep we even worshipped together? Just how son of God, how?"
And of course, It was the right thing to ask in the moment, because I was hurt.
But it'd have been different had I had a stronger foundation to go back to. A truth I didn't need a boyfriend to say. The truth of what God says about me. The standing and only truth.
Right now, everyone's wondering how I am, But I'm wondering why I'm happier.
See, No one is happier than a "daddy issues" girl getting closer to her Father.
I've literally become oblivious to everything that brought me into the dance floor, dancing with my King.
Of course when the shoes are off, and I'm in bed, Shame comes by and says "Can't believe you knew better" and it hurts, I can’t lie.
But, Everything that happened in my life, Brought me down to this realisation,
I've been loved before, I've danced with my prince before, I've had flowers and nights under the stars, None of which can come close to how I felt when I danced with my King, To a song quite “undancable”, Vashawyn's “nobody's greater”.
Because, truly nobody's greater.
I'm soaking myself in that love, Before I can dance to Ed Sheeran again.
So before you list down everything "the" ex was, what were you??
Guest Writer - Maija Matheus
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