So this morning I woke up incredibly demotivated. This is note worthy, because it is the third day I feel like this, since Monday. Interesting enough I also almost never blog about these times, because I have this belief I need to be your superwoman in a cape to motivate you and keep you going. However, doesn't it take from a teaching moment. In that we all have days when we are under the weather and days where we feel victorious, because that is just life. You will have moments of real high, and moments of real lows. This my low moment, and the beauty in it is that I know that this is temporary and that I will be back on the racing track in no time. Down time is okay, in as long as it is not over extended and translates into self-pity. It's like being in a hospital recuperating, because you need to rest and reboot the areas that have been dragging you down.
I woke up this morning from a dream, where I was telling a young boy that his anger is rooted in the areas he has not dealt with. I always tell people that anger is the easier emotion to feel. I have understood a long time ago, that every time I find myself upset, specially leaning towards anger, I am suppressing a feeling. This is because anger is usually the easier emotion to feel, as opposed to disappointment, hurt or vulnerability. I have applied this time and time again in my life, where I would want to be angry at someone or something, and I will force myself to pause and reflect, what is the real emotion here that I am suppressing? It used to be difficult because when anger wants to plant itself in your heart, at that moment, you care of nothing else. However, the more I taught myself to choose my emotions and have complete control over what I feel, if not control, at least awareness over what I feel, I have been able to decipher that anger is usually a cover up of what I am truly feeling.
Yesterday, I felt anger creep up on me. I decided to stop and do an introspection as to why do I feel this way. Actually, it was rejection I was feeling and not anger. I have been hoarding the feeling of rejection and covering it up, because lets be real, no one wants to allow rejection to linger long enough to face why that would be a thought. Interesting enough, the moment I was able to identify the real emotion, I could identify it's origin. Its origin is a story for another day.
The point I am trying to make is that self-awareness is vital in learning who you are and why you function the way you do. When you are able to find the origin of your emotions or the manner in which you react to things, you will be able to understand yourself better. Unmasking the real reason you feel the way you do, usually means digging deep into the places we prefer to keep buried. It is not fun, but vital. It helps stop the crazy cycle of - I do not know why I feel the way I do.
This is a heavy post and unfortunately, today I am not here to make you feel better, I am here to dig into the places we prefer to keep buried.
Uncover the real truths of your emotions and set yourself free. You deserve freedom.
From one Powerhouse to another