I am sure that I am not the only one that feels the immense pressure of life. The older you get, the more intense. As of late I have been struggling with the notion that all I am doing is not enough. A lot of the times I feel the need to get up, and do more. There's an unspoken pressure to be more, achieve more and in essence, do more. This pressure has been all but unspoken, and if anything I have come to place this pressure on myself. Stemming from a place of needing to have everything figured out. An unspoken desire to understand where all I do is leading and the truth is, it stunts the journey. What is supposed to be a life long journey of discovery has become a journey that daunts me with the fact that, in truth, I have no idea what on earth I am doing. One would deem this normal, because most young adults are navigating life trying to find what they are passionate about, and whether their field of study is what they want to pursue for the rest of their lives.
Although the understanding is clear, that life is a journey, the application thereof is a whole different story. One would think that because we know that you cannot foresee life anymore past a year, we would relax and allow things to happen gradually without putting pressure on ourselves to have it figured out, but the truth is the pressure exists. Whether voiced or not, there is still a distinct pressure to have your dream house, dream job and dream car come 3 years after graduation. What makes the reality even more daunting is an unspoken comparison that happens among friends and age mates. One almost cannot help it.
So, here is what I did, I deleted my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter off my phone. I just needed air, I needed to focus on the things that make me truly happy without having to see what everyone else around me is doing. It has been nothing short of great. When I say I needed air, I just needed a moment to breathe from the unspoken pressure to have my life figured out, because the truth is I am only just figuring it out. In order to be able to do that, I NEED SPACE!! Now, needing space can look different for many people, for me it is touching base with myself.
Allowing myself to be self engulfed and check in with myself. Allowing myself to remind myself of what my dreams are, why I set out to do what I am doing and what makes me happy. Does it have to be outside of everything I deem everyday life? Yes, because I was forgetting to dance. I was forgetting to dance along the way. I was forgetting to celebrate the victories. I was forgetting to be grateful, but most of all, I was forgetting who is in control.
I had completely lost sight of whose I am and who I serve. I had long since stopped allowing God to be the author of my destiny. I had long since forgotten that everything I am, is as a result of HIm. I had forgotten that all the acclamation, awards and opportunists stem from Him.
So, here I am doing two things;
1. I am remembering to journey along this life thing. I am remembering to dance like no one is watching. I am remembering to laugh till my eyes tear up. I am remembering to LIVE.
2. I am setting the pen down and no longer forging what my story should look like, but rather giving over the pen to God, because He created me, He should write this story.
So, from one Powerhouse to another
Here is to remembering to live
Here is to remembering to putting the pen down.
With Love Mavis