Ever look in the mirror and all you see is the imperfections? You are focused solely on the bulge at your waist, the stretch marks on your butt, the hairline that seems so far your forehead has a forehead, the blemishes on your skin… Regardless of how many times you are told you are beautiful, you cannot seem to grasp how anyone can look past the imperfections. You know that you have gorgeous features, but if only you could shed a few more kilos to fit into that dress you love so much. If only you could get your hair to look as good as the next person… IF ONLY. Your life has been filled with images of imperfection since you were young, there has always been one area of your life that you wish you could change. For some, it goes beyond looking in the mirror, as you wish you had the ability to do public speaking without stuttering, you wish that you were able to afford the gorgeous clothing you see on social media, you wish you could teach yourself how to not care what people think of you… YOU WISH.
It is almost as though we believe that our flaws and imperfections have come to define us. We obsess about the lives of other people and the areas in which we hope to be similar, forgetting that our uniqueness is what matters. There are billions of people on this planet, but there is "only one you." If we were all to be the exact same with flawless bodies, brilliant minds and amazing personalities, how then would we be able to embrace our own unique DNA? The reality is that we have heard all too often that we are enough, we are unique and who we are beautiful. We have read articles talking about self-love and have sometimes gone as far as trying to practice the things we read. Yet the reality is simply different from all that we hope to apply. The reality is that regardless of how many times we promise ourselves that this time I will ferociously love on myself, application is a whole lot harder. Particularly in the era of social media and external looks obsession.
The journey of self-love is mostly difficult, but it is not impossible. In the same way you can obsess about your imperfections, you can program your mind to obsess on your perfections. Teaching yourself to love yourself the way you wish to be loved. This may sound impossible, because you simply cannot fathom how one goes about loving yourself, never mind accepting your imperfections.
Let me tell you something, you have one life, one body, one mind and one chance to love yourself. You can change the things you do not like about yourself, you can work on having a healthier lifestyle, mind-set and spirit. These things can be changed, however you cannot leave your body and get another, so you may as well do yourself a favor and love the one you are in. The beauty in discovering your self-love is that you develop a healthier mind, and as a result you live a healthier lifestyle. The journey to self-discovery can be a scary one, because you come head on with every part of yourself. You have to be blatantly honest with yourself about who you are. There will be areas you hate to look at, and it will SUCK!! However, once you get past the not-so-fun stuff, you can finally start defining yourself by your standards and it can be a magical journey.
I am currently reading a book called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” and I would recommend it ten times over. There is an analogy in the book that I would like to share;
“Your mind is like a garden, you have been planting seed in all your life. There have been good seed and bad seeds planted. The thing with planting bad seed is they tend to grow shrubs that take up all room for growing good seed. The roots of bad seed grow deep, till you come to believe every negative thing you have ever taught yourself about you. However, like any garden, you can clean out the plants you do not favor. The good seed can only grow in a healthy garden. If you have a poisoned mind, your reality gives poison too. Until you can clean out your garden, you cannot grow forward.”
This is a summary of my understanding of the garden of one’s mind. We are all uniquely created as are you, you have a lot to offer this world. You are beautiful and you can reset your mind to positive thinking. "I do not promise that it will be easy, I only promise that it will be worth it."
Disclaimer: I would like to put a disclaimer on this post, I too am living the things I write about. I have my own set of insecurities, in the same light I know the power of going on a self-love journey. I can only share on my experiences in the hope that they help someone else. You are welcome to journey with me on this self-love journey. I encourage it, if anything. Even if it has been something you have been doing for some time, because there is always something new to learn about yourself.
Tip: Start with cleaning out the closet of your mind. I want you to go back to the place where your self-doubt stems from. Not the things that today make you insecure, but go back in time to the events of your life that may have shifted your self-perception. Write down all the things that may have caused you to become insecure. Then write down counter events that have taught you to go against those said insecurities. The idea is to be able to counter the negative thoughts you may have about yourself, with positive thoughts. This becomes your journey to uproot the bad seeds you have planted. It starts with cleaning out the closet of your mind.
PS: Please feel free to email me your thoughts, experiences and comments on the above post to firstname.lastname@example.org
With a Tad Bit of Crazy
With Love Mavis