You know that moment when you are supposed to meet up with a friend. The plan was to meet up at 6 p.m, West African Time (WAT), not Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), but exactly 6 post meridiem. Yet, fifteen minutes later you receive a text explaining that they are still getting dressed, which we all know means, “just getting out the shower”. You pace in front of the café, fiddling on your phone and scrolling through Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. After some time things get awkward, and you decide to head into the café. This leaves you having to face an impatient waiter, who gives you the side-eye and makes you feel stood up. Sitting alone at a coffee shop table can feel very natural for many, yet for some it feels like a sure way to make you feel all alone and has you fiddling to keep busy, because it is just so damn awkward.
Imagine having to do that very thing often. The thought can be crippling and numbing, leaving you feeling like you would rather stay home and watch a good series. Well, when we speak about self-love, there is an element of it which encourages dating yourself. Whether you are in a relationship, single, married or divorced, dating yourself is needed. It allows you to do the things you love, alone. It allows you to learn how to enjoy your own company and bask in solitude. Taking solitude out the comfort of your home and out to where you would want to have pretty dates. The thought is scary for many, but here are a few tips on things you can do alone to get on that self-love journey. I promise you, after you get past the awkward firsts and fiddling your phone to keep busy, you will come to love your own company.
Take yourself on dates – The things you wish to do with someone, you can do alone and have the time of your life doing it. Go watch a movie alone, pack up on the popcorn and enjoy that movie. Go shopping for a cute top or dress, just because it will make you feel good. Enjoy it while you are at it. The little moments where you can enjoy being alone. Dinning alone does not have to be the first on your list.
Buy yourself gifts – We all love to be spoiled. If anything, gifts have a way of brightening up ones day. If you are a sucker for gifts, get them for yourself. We spend so much time waiting for people to treat us how we want to be treated that we forget that the first person who sets the pace, is you! Go buy yourself a rose, treat yourself to a good breakfast and just love on yourself. You don’t need an occasion. The occasion an be that today you woke up happy, so you deserve a gift. Small treats brighten up your day.
Dress up – When you look good, you feel good. Put on that night dress that has been waiting to be worn on the right occasion. You create your occasions. Wear a fur coat to a casual night out, put that trench coat on to work – I mean look good! Looking good always leaves you feeling good. Throw the comfy t-shirts to the side and get out your comfort zone! Quit shopping for safe items and buy that over the top dress, why? Simply, because you can.
Laugh – Odd hey, you’d think you laugh all the time. However, when last did you laugh till your tummy hurt? Live, Love and Laugh. Find joy in the little things. Start to look around you more often and appreciate the landscape. Put your phone down more often and pay attention to your friend speak about her crush. Notice the beauty in your day and just laugh more. Be silly, let the child in you come out to play!
Choose you – Choose yourself. Get a little selfish sometimes. If something is not feeding you good vibes, cut it off! Be protective of your space. Be very particular about what energy you allow into your life!
One day, one happy thing – Do something that makes you happy every day! Every single day! It will force you to look within and find what truly makes you happy. When you run out of ideas, don’t stop, invent things that make you happy. Till happiness becomes your everyday!
Take a time out – Have lazy days, have days where you just do you, whatever that may be! Read that book you bought months ago, make that vision board you promised to make, redecorate your room or just sleep! Take time out to fill your cup! To reenergize yourself. Remember: You can’t give from an empty cup, you need to fill yours up first!
The idea is to date yourself and love on yourself. We have heard many of these things said to us plenty of times. Sometimes we even promise ourselves to start, yet application and consistency is a whole other story. It’s almost like deciding to go to the gym, buying the cute outfit and going twice. Just like that, the gym never sees you again. The key ingredient is DEDICATION. You need to be dedicated to your path and journey of self-love. You need to understand it will take some time to master, but this is a journey you want to take on! The first step is deciding, second is dedicating time to it and third is consistency. Those three ingredients promise you success. You can do it, you just need to START!
Disclaimer: I have been on the self-love journey for two years. Sometimes I get it so right and sometimes I get it so wrong. The one thing I don’t do, is stop trying.
TIP: Take one thing you’d like to start with and focus on that. Do not overwhelm yourself trying to take on everything at once, one step at a time.
PS: Please feel free to email me your thoughts, experiences and comments on the above post to firstname.lastname@example.org
With a Tad Bit of Crazy
With Love Mavis