• Shariva Zender

Guest Writer - I am here to learn


Mavis Writes: Alright sweethearts, we are really doing this. I am so excited, because this is an actual first that you will be able to read material submitted by just about anyone. The process promises to be fun, and fingers crossed we can get you guys equally excited! Our first writer is Shariva Zender. She is a blogger and has not been writing for a while, which you will see in just a minute is really sad, because she has a knack for writing! We asked her a few question about herself before we get into her blog piece! Here is what she had to say:

GUEST WRITER QUESTIONNAIRE

1. What is the one thing you wish people knew about you?

I am highly structured and need a lot of time to mentally prepare myself for busy, crowded spaces as these spaces make me super anxious.

2. What motto do you live by?

"Feel the fear, but do it anyway".

3. Who inspires you and why?

Women. Everyday, women face so many challenges and struggles and yet are still expected to be everything for everyone. I am inspired by women who, against all odds, show up and manage to get things done.

4. What is the hardest lesson life has taught you?

That no matter how good your intentions might be for someone, some people will always disappoint you in the end. So, I am learning not to expect too much anymore.

5. What was your happiest moment

(the first thing that comes to mind)?

Becoming a mother tops everything! :)

SHARIVA WRITES

...But I am here to learn

In my continuous efforts to better myself, I asked my closest friends what they thought of me. What kind of person I am like and in what areas I can improve. I did this, not because I was fishing for compliments or trying to make myself feel better. Au contraire, I did it because I wanted to know if the image and perceive myself to be, correlates with what people perceive me to be. I wasn’t expecting sunshine and roses, I was expecting the truth. I was of the impression that people would not be completely honest – because let’s face it, no one truly divulges their true authentic thoughts. How many times have we heard people say, "I don’t care what other people think of me?" One too many. I agree however (to a certain degree) that one should not be bothered by what people may think of you, but it plays a significant role in establishing friendships and shaping them. First things first, we must realize that we are NOT the same. We are all cut from different cloths and in order for us to live in a civil world – we NEED to compromise - not everyone will be able to fit into the mold that is you. No one will ever be what we want them to be. It’s a give and take and it is all about finding a balance. If you want to create and live a fulfilled life, regardless of how you may think you can do life on your own,

"the essence of life is human connection.

I stress this point, because when everything else is removed – what remains are the connections we have. Let’s strive to always make these connections as pleasant as possible and ensure the aura that oozes from you encourages human connection as opposed to repelling it. From the feedback I received from those I hold dear was that I should be more transparent and vocal about who I am, in essence - I should be more open. This in turn equals to trusting more. This however is tricky, because I am not keen on simply giving out trust. It literally means giving someone a piece of you and expecting their safe keeping. You must think I am paranoid... Perhaps, a little. My experience of people has been one of malice and ill intent. I am simply too careful with trusting people because I dread disappointment. Does this make me flawed? Might very well. I probably have to work on that, by learning how to manage expectation. Additionally I learnt that I have a tendency of keeping people at arm’s length. I tend to close myself off, to ensure that external factors do not dictate how I feel. I do better when I can simply shut down and try to work through whatever is I may be feeling, as this gives me complete control over my emotions. I have come to realize that talking about something is a means to get it out of your system, but does it change the situation? Not in the least. My perception of it is as though you are stuck on a remote island, you scream your lungs out, but inevitably it does no good and gets you nowhere closer to getting off the island. At most, it will surely help you get a hoarse voice and a possible headache. But I probably have to work on that, too.

"The essence of life is HUMAN CONNECTION" - Shariva

So I say, here is to being allowing myself to be more open & allowing people into my personal space & learning to trust more - a selected few of course, I mean I have to ease into things.

In the interim, Shane Koyczan once said;

"I sit before flowers hoping they will

train me in the art of opening up

I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me

to let goI know nothing but I am here to learn.”

and for you my loves, may your days be lengthened by long talks about your dreams of becoming greater than you could have ever imagined. Walk on the clouds and dance to the rhythm of the Sun.

Guest Writer - Shariva

Read more of her work - Shariva's Blog


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With Love

Mavis

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