Guest Writer - Finding Forgiveness
Mavis Writes: Here we are at the 6th Guest Writer, and we have the beautiful Susan from the northern parts of Namibia. She steps out into the unknown and has decided to close her eyes and jump. Susan texted me one day and was skeptical about submitting her piece, I said.. girl!! SEND! Here we are now, and lets get to know her, shall we? (Hey, before we do, do ensure you - that is reading this - leave a comment after reading! Feedback is appreciated!)
What is the one thing you wish people knew about you?
I have agoraphobia. I am socially awkward. I am not an introvert, I just don’t know how to act when I am around people. I’m generally a pretty quiet person (though, in the right circumstances, I can get loud). Given a choice, I would prefer to be left to myself rather than out in a crowd.
What motto do you live by?
If God will put this much detail in a snowflake, what makes you think your life is any less important?God made the flake so beautiful in every way it is breathtaking_ but you, you are made in His image and likeness. Never forget that.
Who inspires you and why?
The First Lady, Mrs Monica Geingos. She is such a phenomenal woman, truly selfless and goes against all odds for the good of all. She the mother of every girl child.
What is the hardest lesson life has taught you?
In school when we failed a class, it was easy to study harder for the next one, but in life, failure can scar us deeply. Life teaches us that failure is a part of it, and that success can only come after so many failures. We learn how to move on from failure and accept it as part of our journey.
What was your happiest moment
(the first thing that comes to mind)?
My happiest moment was when I truly came to know God. Not the “Thou-shall-not-otherwise-you-go-to-hell” God, but the One that tells me that “He will never leave me nor forsakes me”. That day burdens had been removed from my shoulder.
Forgiveness is a choice. Not a once-off choice but you need to consistently choose to forgive in order to be free, in order to heal.
How did I choose to forgive?
Exactly 7 years ago, I was abused and I fell pregnant but unfortunately my baby girl only lived for 5 months. It was a time of trauma, depression, anxiety and all bad things. I started to hate men in general because of what happened to me, my heart was filled with anger and forgiveness.
Someone told that “We don’t forgive for others but we forgive others for ourselves”. And that right there was my starting point to my journey of forgiveness.
I started learning how to force myself and acknowledging that it was not my fault. Every day I looked in the mirror and told myself that it was not my fault and I need to forgive myself. It started off as a saying but as weeks went by, I really started treating myself different, I stopped blaming myself and my inner-self was lighter.
The next step was to forgive him, shuu, let me tell, you this was the hardest thing to do, but it had to be done. For me.
The first thing I did was starting to pray for him and asking God to make him a better human being.
Through those prayers I realized that forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their behavior. It doesn’t mean forgetting how they hurt you or giving that person room to hurt you again. It means acknowledging and giving yourself permission to feel the pain. It means letting go of the hurt and resentment so that you can heal and move on.
Till next time,
Guest Writer - Susana Shivute
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